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LIVIN LARGE with Frank E Boy
Shower Time10/4/2008 Comment on ThisI’m taking a shower and I find none of my normal, 99¢ per bottle, shampoo; so I’ll have to improvise. There are lots of choices here – maybe 15 or more bottles, jars and tubes of stuff. Something will do the trick - right? As you can see, I’m a big greasy Italian guy (with enough Irish DNA to irritate you senseless). I need a strong shampoo, on the scale of Tide or even Drano to cut through the oily coating.  Hmm… Lots of bottles but not too many things call shampoo. Instead, there are “hair systems.” What is all this crap? There are color enhancers, moisturizers, conditioners, revitalizers, protectors, cleansers, and other weirder stuff that’s all written in french but manufactured and distributed out of places like Franklin Park, IL.Even better, I can choose from poppy, french lavender, mango or vanilla. This will be perfect. I’ll smell like a flower shop dipped in ice cream and then cotton candy. I also don’t get the moisturizer thing. My hair starts getting greasy again 14 seconds after I step out of the shower. The LAST thing I need is to rub additional grease into my hair right after I've just cleaned it. Now, the inane steps... Why does everything have 2-3 steps: rinse, work into hair, wait, rinse, add more, wait more, rinse again, thoroughly. This is going to take 45 minutes. Forget it – I’ll just use soap. Finished
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